This is beautiful! I'm her "umbrella in hand/ watches/ wistfully" I feel like i'm just watching others taking that step forward and succeeding and I only wish I could.
Don't be too hard on yourself -- or too impatient. I think we are all her at one time or another. And those "others" we're watching? I'll bet they feel the same! Just keep making the effort, and you'll get there in your own way and your own time. :-)